Haven’t left the office before 9pm once this week. If only I actually got paid for overtime. sigh.
Why does everything have to be about sex? Instead of directing ONE’s attention to their sexual desires, put them on the spot by taking sex out of the equation……THEN and only then can you determine if someone is racist. A person is not racist if they are not sexually attracted to someone because of whatever their reasons are….BUT they are racists if they can’t even be friends, friendly or otherwise because of it.
Writing off entire swaths of the human population that you’ll never meet based on your present experience has never seemed very rational to me. It’s interesting though, because this topic of preference does come up a lot more now because of the simplicity of social media.
Does stating “NO BLACKS! NO ASIANS!” imply that you’re racist? Perhaps, as it doesn’t indicate anything approaching self awareness but I’ve learned that itself isn’t a crime.
I’ve seen the counter argument about gay men not being into women when it comes to these aggro statements of preferences and I do think there’s a distinct disconnect when it comes to that justification as well. Saying you’re attracted to men is more efficient, and less abrasive than stating in caplock and bold that you’re not interested in women and find them all repulsive. Not being sexually attracted to women (to a degree) is an artifact of being gay, not being attracted to people outside of your “race” isn’t necessarily an artifact of being white.
It might be an outcome of being in a culture that presents a particular beauty standard ad naseum that we as individuals then come to internalize and gravitate towards though. These standards have an impact, and it’s not attractive either.
At the end of the day though, people have the right to see those sorts of “preferences” and judge them as the OP is suggesting. If the idea of having to interact with someone who doesn’t meet your “no fly” list is so annoying that you have to state that in caplocks…it says a lot about you. Simply put, stating your preferences this way might get the desired result, but it also makes you look pretty repellent.
Do we really care that racists don’t want to fuck us? Isn’t the bigger deal the way their prejudices affect us in other ways?
well tbh i feel like the issue isn’t really that racists don’t want to fuck us, it’s that the mentality which leads to that kind of attitude means trouble in all kinds of different areas, not just sex or dating. it’s yet another symptom of the problem. we live in a society where ppl’s worth is frequently measured by their fuckability and it’s some chicken and egg shit going on. and ppl’s views on who they want to fuck are frequently instructive about what kind of attitudes they hold in general
also WRT the queer community (and specifically the cis gay community) so much of what constitutes “community” is so hypersexualized that you really can’t separate the two tbh. in queer spaces so much interaction is ruled by whether or not someone is fuckable, which is why women are so frequently marginalized in spaces that are on paper marketed as “LGBT” but in practice are meat markets for cis gay men
Words to describe someone's voice
- adenoidal: if someone’s voice is adenoidal, some of the sound seems to come through their nose
- appealing: an appealing look, voice etc shows that you want help, approval, or agreement
- breathy: with loud breathing noises
- brittle: if you speak in a brittle voice, you sound as if you are about to cry
- croaky: if someone’s voice sounds croaky, they speak in a low rough voice that sounds as if they have a sore throat
- dead: if someone’s eyes are dead, or if their voice is dead, they feel or show no emotion
- disembodied: a disembodied voice comes from someone who you cannot see
- flat: spoken in a voice that does not go up and down. This word is often used for describing the speech of people from a particular region.
- fruity: a fruity voice or laugh is deep and strong in a pleasant way
- grating: a grating voice, laugh, or sound is unpleasant and annoying
- gravelly: a gravelly voice sounds low and rough
- gruff: a gruff voice has a rough low sound
- guttural: a guttural sound is deep and made at the back of your throat
- high-pitched: a high-pitched voice or sound is very high
- hoarse: someone who is hoarse or has a hoarse voice speaks in a low rough voice, usually because their throat is sore
- honeyed: honeyed words or a honeyed voice sound very nice but you cannot trust the person who is speaking
- husky: a husky voice is deep and sounds hoarse (=as if you have a sore throat), often in an attractive way
- low adjective: a low voice or sound is quiet and difficult to hear
- low adverb: in a deep voice, or with a deep sound
- matter-of-fact: used about someone’s behaviour or voice
- modulated: a modulated voice is controlled and pleasant to listen to
- monotonous: a monotonous sound or voice is boring and unpleasant because it does not change in loudness or become higher or lower
- nasal: someone with a nasal voice sounds as if they are speaking through their nose
- orotund: an orotund voice is loud and clear
- penetrating: a penetrating voice or sound is so high or loud that it makes you slightly uncomfortable
- plummy: a plummy voice or way of speaking is considered to be typical of an English person of a high social class. This word shows that you dislike people who speak like this.
- quietly: in a quiet voice
- raucous: a raucous voice or noise is loud and sounds rough
- ringing: a ringing sound or voice is very loud and clear
- rough: a rough voice is not soft and is unpleasant to listen to
- shrill: a shrill noise or voice is very loud, high, and unpleasant
- silvery: a silvery voice or sound is clear, light, and pleasant
- singsong: if you speak in a singsong voice, your voice rises and falls in a musical way
- small: a small voice or sound is quiet
- smoky: a smoky voice or smoky eyes are sexually attractive in a slightly mysterious way
- softly spoken: someone who is softly spoken has a quiet gentle voice
- sotto voce adjective, adverb: in a very quiet voice
- stentorian: a stentorian voice sounds very loud and severe
- strangled: a strangled sound is one that someone stops before they finish making it
- strangulated: strangled
- strident: a strident voice or sound is loud and unpleasant
- taut: used about something such as a voice or expression that shows someone is nervous or angry
- thick: if your voice is thick with an emotion, it sounds less clear than usual because of the emotion
- thickly: with a low voice that comes mostly from your throat
- thin: a thin voice or sound is high and unpleasant to listen to
- throaty: a throaty sound is low and seems to come from deep in your throat
- tight: a tight voice or expression shows that you are nervous or annoyed
- toneless: a toneless voice does not express any emotion
- tremulous: if something such as your voice or smile is tremulous, it is not steady, for example because you are afraid or excited
- wheezy: a wheezy noise sounds as if it is made by someone who has difficulty breathing
- wobbly: if your voice is wobbly, it goes up and down, usually because you are frightened, not confident, or are going to cry
you know when harry is told, “you’re a wizard”
and all the mess and the weirdness and the Things Other People Don’t Do and the namecalling and everything, all of a sudden they make sense because he knows this thing about himself which explains it all and it’s not his fault any more, and what’s more, there’s a community of people who have experienced the exact same thing that he can now relate to?
that’s what a correct diagnosis feels like
"don’t label yourself" my arse